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Winter Park, FL. 1:15 AM. Friday, March
25th, FX Warehouse, the scene of the crime. 9 monsterish heads
were discovered with various degrees of horrific (yet
creative) modifications done to them. A handful of
eyewitnesses claimed there were screams and shrieks emerging from
the shop all week, yet no one dared come to investigate. When
the police finally showed up, no one could be found to claim
responsibility for the carnage. Pieced together from witness
reports and anonymous tips, we have assembled a short list of
possible suspects.
Page 1 |
|
 Barry
"Bear" Blaisdell - Ironically, Barry is an officer of the law
himself, which makes this suspect that much more dangerous.
Barry is known for his quick hands. An anonymous tip reveals he
might be responsible for at least 2 of the recovered heads.
The same eye witness saw Barry fleeing the scene of the crime
screaming, "It's all about the bag!". Incidentally, it was
discovered to be a smoke screen. Barry had refused to even use
a bag. Better luck next time.
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|
 Chris
Crum (Cake) - Chris is the brains of the operation. His quick
wit has gotten him out of more than one sticky situation in the
past. When not coordinating the operation, Chris is a master
at taking out electrical systems. Chris was discovered while
escaping on a brand new 310 hp turbo charged air compressor yelling
at the top of his lungs. "I'll mold it when it's hard, baby!" |
|
 Quintin
Irizarry- aka "the Brooklyn Bomber". Quintin never met a
caper he wasn't prepared for. If you need a job done, he has
the tools to get you there. Reports indicate Quintin opened up
his tackle box, hacked together a helicopter and sped into the night
laughing, "I need three mold straps baby, three mold straps.
BEAUTIFUL!"
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 Eddie
Chaistain- You don't do a job without the muscle. Eddie poses
as a professional wrestler and has been known to take down the likes
of Dusty Rhodes back in the day. When not in the ring tying up
his opponent in the figure four, Eddie has been found pounding a few
heads into a claylike pulp. Reports have Eddie busting through
the window of the shop, tearing off into the night, hooting, "Dance
Monkey, Dance!" |
|
 Dean
Martin - Yes, one in the same. News reports were just a smoke
screen. Dean has been laying low for years waiting for
the public attention to die down. Now Dean is leading the life
he's always wanted, the life of crime. Dean claims all he
needs to get the job done is a rubber spatula. He was found
driving away yelling, "I'll dump my plaster anywhere I damn well
please!" |
| |
 Johnny
Blackburn- Calm, cool and collected. Johnny aka "the Thinker"
never ran into a situation he couldn't get out of. When not
visiting time shares, Johnny spends his nights dreaming of his super
heroes while tearing up a new head. Johnny is known to bring
only a single bass guitar to a job. Johnny was seen casually
walking away from the scene mumbling to himself, "Don't smoke around
rubber cement paint, huh! F*%k that!"
|
 Tosha
McComb- aka "the Librarian". The typical smoke screen of the
operation. Tosha is always there to deter the fuzz with her
smooth talk and calm demeanor. Don't let that fool you.
Tosha was seen outside the building smashing an airbrush against the
wall screaming, "Come on, clog on me again, I dare ya!" |
 Ian
Odden- Ian drives the getaway car. Unfortunately, we have no
eye witnesses to place him at the scene. It seems Ian took a
bus the morning of the job and wound up in Georgia. Last
person to see him mentioned he was outside the bus station sobbing,
"Route 72, route 72, not 27, Damn!" |
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;)
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)