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6/22

 

 Welcome

       
  Welcome, come in, come in.  No need to stand out in the rain getting wet.  Sit down, make yourself comfortable.  Take your shoes off.  Oh they're off, I thought those were your rubber boots.  Anyway, please keep your shirt on as the women and children visiting this site tend to take offense to excessive chest hair.
       
  Those stories you've heard about us using subliminal messages and hypnotic statements; all lies (You are getting sleepy, you are going to your browser menu, you are setting this as your home page, you will wake up after the next parenthesis and remember nothing).  Hmmmm, did I just lose time?  My doctor said this site would be good therapy.  He also said those nervous, giddy twitches I get whenever Death Studios announces a new lineup would soon pass.
       
  So why are you here, why am I here?  Who knows, this is a mask site, not philosophy 101.  This site exists so I can watch my little hit counter go up and up.  I thought about presetting it to 100,000 just to impress you, but my math ain't so good and I screwed it all up.  This site exists by the people and for the people (Do I owe someone royalties for that statement?).  Really, this site is all about masks and whatever else I want to put here.  Most of what you read will be my highly opinionated, left wing slanted, obnoxious ramblings that you will be forced to endure.  Ok, I'm lying.  I  hardly make a peep.  I went to the experts for the content.  They seem to know more.  By the people and for the people (I read somewhere that repetition makes your ideas stand out, stand out, stand out). 
       
  What will you find on this site?  A picture of my kids for starters.  My wife said I couldn't have a site unless I put them on it, and besides they are darn cute.  Take after the mailman actually.  Hmmmm... I'm starting to wonder why my wife always gets the mail and insists on driving to the post office to pick it up.  Ahhh, she's just efficient that's all.  Back to the site and the whole why we are here business.  Yes, the site is about masks.  Not the kind you get at Wal-mart mind you, we are talking Target quality and above.  I sought out, chased down and tackled as many people in the know as I could.  My incessant emailings, late night phone calls, threating letters are finally paying dividends (God knows my stocks sure aren't).  I've weaseled some good articles on the whole world of mask collecting.  I've also setup a site for you Alex Marshal (Man, wouldn't it be a kicker if your name was really Alex Marshall do de do de do de) to participate in every way possible. Ok, not in that way... I told you women and children are present.  Vote, send in photos, write articles, show your fanny (oops, that's my other site).  I want you to make this site exceed it's potential.  Boy, do I sound like my high school guidance counselor or what?  The one who participates the most gets to pay that month's hosting bill.  Did I not mention the perks of user participation?
       
  So, put your shirt and rubber boots back on and explore what we have to offer.  If you find something interesting, stop, take a picture and get back in line quickly.  Nothing will bite unless you tease it;  won't bite hard I should say. If you have any questions about life, love and happiness, go ask someone else.  If you want to talk all about masks and just why the heck they are so scary, well then you've come to the right place.  As for the scary part, just remember what Homer Simpson once said, "Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos"